xpw:

so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums. 

limousinemsrebridge:

speedwag:

(bites lip sexily but really im just trying to peel this piece of skin off)

THIS POST DESCRIBES MY ENTIRE FUCKING EXISTENCE

hey rich white teen side of tumblr y’all got any spare macbooks y’all wanna toss this way?

femmenace-t:

pervocracy:

postwhitesociety:

hm

I think the “women are mysterious” thing can also come from:
1) Women actually being quite clear, but not telling men what they want to hear.  ”She said she doesn’t want to talk to me?  So many mixed messages and confusing signals!”
2) Women not having cheat codes.  ”I tried being nice, and she didn’t have sex with me.  I tried being an asshole, and she didn’t have sex with me.  Come on, there’s got to be some kind of solution to this puzzle!”
3) Women not being a hive mind.  ”First a woman told me that she likes guys with big muscles.  Then the very next day a woman told me she thinks muscles aren’t attractive at all.  Make up your mind, women!”
4) An individual woman doing something confusing, and instead of asking “why is she doing this now?” men ask “why do women always do this?”

Always reblog

strangedayshavefoundme666:

dancingdwarves:

thelionandthellama:

i don’t get how other countries have these really strict school uniform rules

and

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then

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there’s

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German

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students

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not

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giving

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a

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single

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fuck

have some more:

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Here in Canada the captain of our football team would just walk around on random days dressed like Marilyn Monroe. Except he never bothered to shave or anything, so more like Marilyn Chewbacca.

this is so bad but misha collins is in it

holy shit misha is actually v hot in this and im v confused

default album art
Fancy (Iggy Azalea cover)
The Killers
13758 Plays

thekillersspain:

The Killers - Fancy (Iggy Azalea cover). Bell Centre, Montreal. July 10

Download: (x)

commongayboy:

iggy azalea loves to repeat her name in her music it’s almost like she’s covering the name game

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royalbloood:

you should want a bad street like hthis

luvloki19:

butiknevvhim:

the concept of the purge is actually really neat but its just the fact that everyone goes for murder as their ‘crime to commit’ like??? why??? i think theyre missing out on the fact that you could steal so many pizzas and not get in trouble

or diamonds, or like break into a mall and shop til u drop, get a new wardrobe, get that Maserati you always wanted, rob a bank and take billions so ur set for life…Murder??? SERIOUSLY???

18/NY/ tags